Random Thoughts From The Green Room

It’s fall y’all and by the looks of me right now you would be convinced it is winter. I am sitting here in my little carved out office within my bedroom aka: the green room, in two layers of clothing complete with some sort of lap blanket turned cape? My sister gave it to me as she kindly thought of my warmth in the van and now I think it will quickly become daily home apparel. It’s fuzzy and bright blue with white Santa coat fur trim complete with a hood. It has sleeves and a couple of buttons so that unlike a shawl or a blanket it will actually stay on and you can use your arms. Honestly, I look like a character out of a Dr. Seuss book and that’s okay by me. Does anyone else have a complete discomfort towards cold? It’s been in the 20’s in the mornings and the roommate and I have been prepping for the cold like we are about to be hit by a hurricane, lol. Oh well, nothing we can do about the weather other than decide how to dress each day.

Turning Lowest to Highest

In the wake of the passing of Matthew Perry, actor of the show Friends and many films, I have been thinking about things regarding that both directly and indirectly. In total honesty and at the risk of this being taken wrongly, normally when a celebrity passes, which I learn via social media, that is my que to stay off of social media for a few days during that onslaught of so many posts regarding it. There are a few reasons for this, some I can articulate and some I cannot. For the most part my reasons have to do more with how people handle the news of death which for some reason gets punctuated through the passing of a celebrity. Let’s just say I tend to over think and my observations of seeing patterns gets overstimulated.

In the case of Matthew Perry I find myself thinking about addiction and purpose. We have done two different podcasts on the topic of addiction. The first one was recorded in Baja when Sarah joined me in Mexico at the beginning of the year. I remember how Sarah brought up Matthew Perry’s autobiography and her conveying how honest and raw he was when discussing his battling of addictions which was for a very long time. Mathew spoke of how a bottom out addiction episode found him in an undeniable encounter with God. I have seen interviews with Matthew post his addiction era speaking about how addicts would seek him for advice and how he never withheld wanting to be of help to them. This became his personal purpose filled mission, a mission acting would have never filled. He spoke of how if he had one wish, he would wish that after he died he would be remembered not for acting at the top of the list but for not saying no to someone needing help where he thought he could help.

We did another addiction themed cast with Todd Crandell, who after battling addiction took to doing Iron Man competitions, to date he has done 112 of them. Todd began to run for purpose and opened up a recovery center called Racing For Recovery. I asked him on the podcast if he thought that his addiction was actually his path for purpose and he said, “absolutely”. It is a perspective that many miss and the recovering focus sticks on the obsession of abstaining from the “thing” rather than on focusing on how it was a gift in that the overcoming can become amazing first hand experience from which to aid others. This is a truth that extends beyond the topic of addiction and all of us have experiences that seem horrific at the time but the usefulness of how that experience can be shared turning horror to help, despair to hope, isolation to connection; gifts.

I cannot help but feel joy for Matthew Perry that he was able to experience the lows and that he lived long enough to see the highs. He was able to give himself a much more important identity than “a celebrity actor”. He was able to find a spirit fueled purpose, know God and help others. From my lens, that is as great as it gets and I am excited for anyone who gets that whole life experience. It is my prayer for everyone. RIP indeed Matthew Perry.

Addictions are real. Pain is real. Death is real. Overcoming is real. Hope is real. God is real.

Lights On, Lights Off?

The subject of trick or treating came up the other day with the roomie. I wondered out loud when the little posses would be ringing door bells and that led to both of us realizing we did not have a clue. Weekend night or Tuesday, the real night? Then I said, I don’t have any treats, should we get some? We both then both wished out loud that we could be skipped, lol. Thinking about how cold it is out and how Savvy was going to go nuts with porch traffic started sounding stressful. I was like, are we being “get off my lawn types?” Is the rule that if the porch light is off that means keep walking? Is that adhered to if it is? I think that was the thing when I was a kid. It’s ironic that I share this seemingly grumpy point of view. I love kids and they are quite cute in their little costumes. I also love candy, lol. Ethan was all things Halloween from the time he was 3 or 4 and we threw a pretty memorable Halloween event on our property for nine years running bringing good times for all. There were usually 50 people at the house for this and we detailed both the inside and the outside of the house. Ethan started talking about Halloween as soon as July 4th was over. It’s doubly ironic in that before him I never gave two winks for Halloween.

I thought I was past the Halloween fervor once not a kid anymore but only to realize adults were into it in high level adulting kind of ways. I can remember going to a couple of large Halloween parties that had I not drank enough alcohol I would have left for being over stimulated with anxiety. I also remember when living in Boulder, Co going to the mall crawl event for the first time. Several blocks of pedestrian only foot traffic packed with people in costumes. Nightmare. So many people that you were not walking so much as just flowing from the crowd push. Being groped by idiots bold enough to grope strangers via the super power of their masks. Trying to put in a drink order took 30 minutes when you would finally actually get into a club. People seemingly having the time of their lives and as hard as I tried to quench the actual fight or flight hormone that was in overdrive I could not. I was 21 then and just could not get behind it. Even as a kid, if it weren’t for candy I would not have wanted to trick or treat.

The last time I think I dressed in costume was for the last Halloween event we had at our house. I was running for public office that year and time was thin and much too busy to think about what I was going to wear. Just before the party I threw together some items that when combined pulled of an 80’s or 90’s band manager/rock star vibe and I was happy I had a wardrobe that could turn out a makeshift costume easily;) What I did not foresee is that a picture of Ethan and I from the party that I used on twitter (like I think my only twitter post at the time) would be used against me. The opposing party decided this was gold for a pre-election mailer card with this rock and roll picture of me. Of course they cut Ethan out of the picture and bullet pointed how I was for medicinal marijuana, insinuated I was some big pot head hoping the picture would prove that and I think this was the card too that bullet pointed that I hated teachers. I was so angry about such a deceitful devilish twist of reality. I actually always thought that the mailer hurt me in the election; to what end I don’t know but images are strong for people and they knew it. At any rate, if you’re ever going to run for office of any kind, I guess you should think about a character for Halloween being used against you in advance; just another wonder of social media. It did make me realize a lot of things though, one being, your pictures are being used and I was lucky to know exactly where. This may be a big reason that all the posting pics of little kids gets me a bit cringed and it’s sad we have to remember things like this.

I just don’t get the over fascination about it but that’s just me. I totally love it for those that love it but I’m a pass. It just feels like another consumer thing to me. I love costumes that people make, in those at least I find the creativity in it. I don’t get wanting to be scared either but that’s me. I guess I have a big helping of situational awareness mode in me that Halloween just throws off. A crowd of people in costumes and in many cases acting the costume out all night with too many drinks being consumed feels like a bad recipe for me . Perhaps I have encountered too many jerks along the way taking weird liberties through the guise of a character. I am also perhaps maybe too aware that a city full of costumes ups the numbers of child abductions, rape and theft. I also feel too aware of how so many are pretending to be someone else on a regular daily basis without costumes so just I don’t feel the need for setting a night aside for that. Ok, Halloween salt over.

Having said that, I hope those partaking in Halloween have a great time and I’ll just be over here still wondering, do I or do I not buy candy? Lights on or lights off?

Have a great week friends. I pray you are living your whole life out, life is short at any age.

Much Love,

L & Sav